Dale Reid

Do make me come to you everytime

Meet me half way

No middle ground

Completely and utterly over it

I'm over it

Wether I'm right or wrong,

Even though I do for everything

No saying sorry for anything

No empathy, no hug on my birthday, no I love you,

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Let alone her engaging with that girl still, if the roles were reversed I bet it would be a different story

I can't deal with being a punching bag

Saying*

Like wtf how was I dying that

She says don't turn this around on me

Even when I hold my tone and speak calming

Why does she think their is a underlying mening

Can I not say something and what I'm saying be it

If I say one thing she thinks it's an attack or it's loaded

I don't know what to do around her

I cnt win

I feel isolated the person on my team is not compassionate but when I stop the hugs and just focus on dy to dy life, she thinks its weird

Not your always paranoid just not think about it

Show some support or even say it will be better tomorrow word of encouragement,

Now I'm with some one who can't even produce a hug when IV had day instead tells me I'm grumpy and it's affecting her, why not try Nd help each other,?

She told me she never loved me

My last GF cheated on me the same way, creates. Relationship ith soneelse so it was easier t leave

I feel I don't want to share things with you as you have not opened up about yours if nothing hidden it away and now don't want me asking about it

You don't consider me your best friend, yes you have said you love me on occasions when we have had sex recently. You don't want me to be part of your life, but if you do it's very specific

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But you will be ok with out me

Dear Leif,

I'm writing to you to let you know you are loved more than anything in this world, I don't know what I would do without you

It's not you, IV spiralled I beat my self up for making you feel the way you did, I felt horrible, I never wanted you to feel that way. I hate my self for being like that, I felt like you hate me and didn't like me,

I got stuck thinking about everything IV done and over analysing everything convincing myself I'm worthless and that you don't want to be with me.
I know it's in my head and it was triggered by something you said when we talked about with me asking who/what you were doing while you were on your phone which is not your fault.


Me dealing with my de- regulated emotions I should not rely on you when it was triggered by something bad I have done to you, you said I need t deal with it myself.

There have been some things you have done that have maybe it worse yea but they were a result of me being disregulated and making you feel certain ways which I feel terrible about,

things your not doing IV made mention about but while I'm in this state and the way it was originally triggered I dont expect you to help and you also feel scared of me because of it so Im hold myself back from scaring you more because I don't want you to feel like that

IV learnt a lot about it recently and yeah I know mentally I'm getting better, but I'm not a expert in understanding how I'm projecting yet but IV got some processes to help stop and pause before saying anything and process

You gave me reassurance with you telling me you love me on the phone and it helped honestly. I'm not going great at home tbh as I miss you but I have time to understand stop reflect on myself with how I can change things in myself how I'm perceived

I say I'm dealing with my self ,

Idk where any of this comes from, your saying it's the way I act,

Everyone says that you are very controlling, the way you expect everyone to accommodate your needs but not so much with mine or others.

I feel with me crying and being emotional your flipping it to make me comfort you because you can't deal with me being upset ... Iv tried to bring up things and get it thrown back at me as if it's my fault or I think it's your fault or that I hate you

I think I need toleave you

I find you looking at your phone all the time like you want to be somewhere else, this is a constant not New thing.

I have a lot of love to give and Im a lot of the time I dont how to show it, I like to have love resupicated, if stop putting in as much I can expect less in return and not feel rejected constantly,

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I don't like others moving or orginising my things it erks me, even when it comes from a good place I feel ke it's not mine or special anymore

My shed I want to be my orginised chaos

I want a space to be me

Just simple

But not in your face

I want a orginised self reflected home showing my hobbies and growth with skills in practical objects and functional electronics

In recent years I have not and it's been difficult, my music was my relaxing time,

IV always worn ear phones out

Public transport makes me anxious, I find it hard t trust if it will stop where I'm going to go or I'll miss my stop, someone's sitting to close or it silently judging or wntto make chitchat

I got teased fr that at all workplaces

To fit in

I don't even realise, I copy popular peoples laugh or manarisums

I hate physical touch I always have and always will, when I'm emotional I need physical touch :/ yes it's contradictory, but I only want to hug people I'm truly comfortable with, Heidi, Leif.
I forch myself to great people with hugs, I never know if people want a hand shake, or what I just copy what others do 90%of the time.

IV always wanted to be different because I hate rolling. Crowd I'm my own person I hate being lumped into Stero types or comparisons from people who hardly know me or not at all as they don't know me, I feel with the way I am no one will ever understand me or resonate with , only deal with me and who I am.

That's why I suppose I'm writing this out

Shes the only family member I truly connected ith

I messaged my girlfriend at the time telling her I found my Nana very boring Nd I wanted her to leave l, mum saw the email and told me off, regret it and fully come t terms with why I did it and learnt.

The only time I really wanted to was at Nana's funeral, and when I asked I was told we can't have 2 grandchildren speak, Mitch is doing it. Knowing how he treated her I'll never probably let it go

I cnt publicly speak

Some horrific

Public speaking... Iv failed a lot on stage infrnt of people or when presenting

I made Lot of friends online who were in older grades mostly girls who like to talk, they never really looked out for me at school but di hear me out when shit happened

I got teased saying I smelt like piss and I had bad bo / ....ye I had bad bo it's still a issue and it's healthy issue so it helps it was a lot out of my control

I feel none of my clothes are me anymore, I want to be attractive to me partner, she danced around to say if she found me attractive and said being healthy is attractive. I feel like I'm a lot more healthy,

I worry about my body image all through my school years I was teased bullied about my hair, acne and how short I was. In primary school all the girls would tease each other to ask me out as a dare/ punishment as they thought I was the ugly one,

I broke down Lot about this witnessed my dad break down because he get so bad bout what had happened,

I had been cyber bullied through all highschool from all grades, the teachers couldnt do anything with out my permission to contact their parents, I felt like I would get more introuble if I called them out, I became suicidal they started bullying my girlfriends ,each one resented me for it.
Only praise I got was through sport which even my team mates would bullie me because dad was the coach and he knew how they treated me so he kinda tried to call them out Nd tell their parents at games, didn't help made it worse.

When dad moved to Canberra it got worse as they didn't have anyone calling them out.
I was on roacitine fr acne it worked but I hated everything, Bradley teased me and let out his frustration of being bullied out on me yet I would stick up for him always at school.

I got know as the kid who should be on meds and that I was paranoid because little things set me off. And I was always so quiet I think people liked to see the drastic change.
First week I got attacked with a water squirter and I hate water fights I hate water on my clothes at any point I deal with it better now if I'm expecting it but I hate water fights unless I'm mentally and dress prepaired. It was the school head student and I went mental because I was so anxious about what I could see what was bout to happen and it did after trying to say no dont that I beat the hell out of the school Preffect for the school.

I got a reputation as a Skitz I would be pushed to bring point for a reaction in or out of Class, I grow long hair to his my face. Didn't have any true friends, as the friends I had made my life hell.

I talked to Elliot/Imogen in great depth about this stuff as she had similar experiences it helped me move on.

Social situations,


I find it easy to go to the same places I know I'm comfortable with, unless it is busy as I worry about parking and not being able t park correctly or if Iv parked in the wrong spot, that's why I park in the same spot a lot of the time as it feels comfortable,
I worry when entering a new business or shop that I have to buy something or that I'm being judged by employees/customers if I'm out of place. I have got better about this but travelling with this issue I find very hard.
having someone lead I find it a lot easier but I don't need it all the time.

When in public i don't like talking about private stuff or stuff todo with myself in public I feel watched and judged, going to a quiet place to talk or talking close in a quiet voice helps
If I draw to much attention for whatever reason or I perceive I'm getting attention I'll drop the subject and try and move out of the area to get to a safe place or fee better. This happens with everyone. A lot more with mum, dad and Heidi as . they are trying to help me get things I need which I feel vanrable about and Im not communicating clear because I'm not handling the situation well with how I feel.

Gatherings I find it hard to start conversations as I'm very self cautious about my actions as if I was going to be judged or teased or do the wrong thing, I want to fit in a I kinda copy what the people I think are closest to me are doing untill someone talks to me or I get drunk alcohol has helped me make most of my adult friendships

Comprising

What we nothing to do l, f we both agree

Create a plan , how do we move forward

Address the issue to move on

Not hiding the truth through , because they think it's best not to say anything, that's how trust is lost, writing down the problems so our minds won't recreate or expand the issues

Wanting to know how each other's minds work

Be Silly,pillow fight, teased I suppose flirting which I'm horrible at but we can just be flirting in our own way

I want to be my partners best friend

I know I'm cared about

Spontaneous affection, knowing that I am loved

Things I want to d with a partner,

Do activities together, drawing games , pottery class, wine and sip ?, mosaic, designing thing to make for the house together.

I want to feel valued for thing I make for people or thing I make to make life easier, appreciation for things I make out of love.

Just chat about what makes us tick, our work and what we enjoy

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Nb
D
D
D

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I feel I can't do anything right, Im trying and I don't know what is good or bad anymore.

I feel like you don't trust me,
With what I say about how I feel and don't trust me in general.
I honestly don't mind who you talk to, I only used it to start conversations with you so I could feel involved with your life. No other reason.

I don't think I have what we the validation thing, because I know before all of this I was fine but would have appreciated a hug or being told that you love me just any gesture of love that's out of the blue.

I feel like I need it more now because I'm U certain with how you feel and I know with how you feel I'm acting is making it worse and I'm trying and I don't know how to stop that and I feel like I keep making it worse. And I just want you to be happy but I don't know how to do that anymore with how you don't want me be around you. Maybe I'm taking things out of context and I'm sorry if I m but this is how I feel so please help me if you want to and help us get back to being happy because I know we can be more if we open back up a bit more


I feel like I'm being segregated from a huge part of your life and am finding it hard to realign my way of talking and questions with you. IV tried to remedy this with the cards and other things. I know your feeling weird with you feeling me being weird so I don't expect you to start up conversations ATM but I hope you will open up again.

I'm trying not to hug or show affections around love as I dont want to smother you I didn't think I was before but I'm sorry as you said I have. I don't know what the medium is as you seem sad when I don't but idk if it's just me I feel like I can't because I don't want to push you away. Thats why I ask you if you want a hug not that I want one. If you want want a hug I hope you can say you want a hug not ask if I want one.

I don't feel appreciated for A lot of the things i do, through affection or letting me know you noticed something I made or changed something and I know you feel like I don't appreciate you for the things you do, Im sorry you feel that way the way I'm communicating that I appreciate it must not be working with me showing you affection I'm sorry.


I'm lost to be my self, I don't want you to be upset and I know IV made you feel like I hate you or that you are being punished but I'm greatly trying not to do that and that was not my intention,

While I was at home I spent most of my time painting and doing maintenance for the shed and house you had told me to have you alone while you worked which I thought I respected, I pretty much ran my self to the ground almost. I felt like I hardly saw you and felt bad I was not up that house because I didn't want you to think I was doing the same thing as before with the shed and not helping that's why I did raise it and you said it was fine you understood.

Maybe I was asking more because I was so focused on getting everything done before work. I dnt know if I was asking more or less than before idk that's why I chose not to talk about them or ask about them at all because I don't know what the medium is. I'm happy to talk about them I just don't want to ask because I don't want to push you further away

I want both our voices to be heard and yes I'm working on my self to accommodate your needs and I'm struggling with it, as i can't really pin point everything IV done, but the things I have I know I didn't mean and I apologise, ( asking who you are talking to or asking about people with how they are surveillancing or and controlling) ( being to affectionate, or being in your space ) ( giving you time todo your own thing with out me ) I don't mean anything bad by what I was doing all I do in the house and out has been and will be is for you and Leif,

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72.5

43cm w

3.5 Dee p

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Bullying

Talking about myself professionaly to apprentice about my work.

Upset about ofis I have raised
Yet being told to submit

Thinking we have ganged up on him while he is on leave ?

Making fun of my handwriting to other staff.

Having Daniel Watsons check in as therapy session for

Doing a work job outside of hours

Not addressing issues with me directly and talking to other staff about it and not to my face being late yet he is always late also

Even though I rang after hours he initially laugh at me when I said while crying my partner wanted to leave me and that she thinks she is gay while asking for time off.

The nepotism towards Josh and then now Daniel Watson

I find Mitch to not be a leader not getting his hands dirty on site and not professional I don’t not wish to continue working under him. Also I do not wish to do Brenton’s quotes due to not him being a idiot

When he did come to site I was tasked with working the door controllers, he wanted to run new cables yet there were cables run already, wanted us to run new cables i said not necessary, (Daniels present) after that he did not talk to me the whole day then complained to Watson. out he soon took over so

The petro promise

Mitch telling other companies (Degree C) not to talk to me on site and only talk to him to direct my tasks making my life harder.


Saying I’m working my own schedule… not sure where This is coming from .

Focusing on employing has friend and having countless meeting to get him as a tech now he’s a manager?

6months for a wire tester, ended up vying my own, still waiting for to get soft cases for them ?

Has no audit on tech tools

Very reluctant on giving us PO for items we need,

Said he would not let having major projects cross over to over load me.. he has failed to distribute the load, due to training


Not enough time on site, to correct labeling.
Have had previous meeting with Troy and Mitch about this. Troy said along the lines of take as much time as needed to get it looking good, iv had to attended Hilton hotel every spare minute to get the work done working through my lunch breaks.

While trying to start wiring the salto controllers Mitch took over yet never wiring a salto door controller being my team leader I felt I could not tell him to not help, so I continued to work on other things yet have to pick up where he left off when he went on leave, don’t start something you are not going to finish.

I went to Sam and told him this as I was concerned.

Still no tool boxes
Promises for taking us out for breakfast never happens,

This new employee is he a tech or a manger


Lost cadburys job not getting back to client
Brenton
Lost port Arthur
Delegated it to other staff and the. Pointed the finger.
Mitch

Not invited to drinks and told to go home

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Hi Mayre, Dale here hope all is well :), not sure what you are up to these days but my work Jackson's security is looking for a new tech and I thought you might be interested in applying?. Not sure if you are interested but let me know

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Can you accept my invitation so that I can get a free gift? Download Temu App and search the code below!
264974877

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Told Mitchell Mitchell my friends had a problem with Russell that’s why they were not here ( to a extent ), asked Mitchell if that that was ok

Mitchel grunted said I’m so hard to talk to because I’m so
Defensive wants talk about it tomorrow
( under is breath said omg)

Wants to talk about it in the morning

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Accept my invite & Get 4 freebies!
https://temu.com/s/za1Ncq3T5i12AAG

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Accept my invite & Get 4 freebies! Download Temu and search my code to accept my invitation:
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Happy birthday Heidi I hope you are going to have memorable birthday this year. You deserve it you always made happy no matter how bad a day I have had your smile has made it worth it to be with you. Thank you for putting up with me for this long and sharing so many experiences with me I hope to have many more.

D

XD

Did

High

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IP Address: 175.32.15.218

IP Address: 175.32.15.218

IP Address: 175.32.15.218

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I have been extremely agitated the last few days with what you have said to me after we talk about it earlier that night, have not been pushed so low in a long time.
I was not not going to someone about what happened as i was upset and sarah was the only one i talked to about it after the night and i was not bitching :/

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IP Address: 175.33.137.213

IP Address: 175.33.137.213

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Prepaid was the best back inthe day, i had 1 cent texts up untill last year when i got my iphone on a plan, my plan has been pretty good to me they gave me the phone i have now plus the gear vr head set :3

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Haha yea, it is a little confusing at first i use macs for only photo shop and work advertising i knownots not like its the end of the world.

Ah gee she makes me mad >:( like but out of other peoplws bussiness gee i would not dob you in if you did, she sounds like she deserves it. Its had enough as it is being transgenger in this communnity let only atking it from your work mates thats not cool :/

Haha same im like "oh yea last year this day we did this or something random and every body looks at me like why do remember that of all things and you cant remeber if you closed your front door ... i got extra time in tests on college because of my memory which was nice i guess XP they should take it as a complement as you are showing you know about them :p well i would at least .

Your lucky :( i wish i could just sit around and watch lucky star omg i have nit seen that anime i have some anime i jave toncatch up on/ learn atm because im busy im only downloading Dragon ball super and twin star exorcists :( i have no time.
What happened to your phone :o yea you need something to preoccupie your self in the mean time :p i used to create art on photoshop and try and brew beer when i had no job :/ try i ng to make money

IP Address: 175.33.93.230

IP Address: 175.33.93.230

IP Address: 175.33.93.230

IP Address: 175.33.93.230

Stan jordan

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